Review: How to be famous

 

How to be Famous by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
Genre: No idea

Rating: 1/5 (or less.)



Summary: Heidi and Spencer take you through a basic process of becoming a famous celebrity in our culture with advice on everything from what to wear, what time of day to go outside (to get your picture taken by the paparazzi, of course.) and whether or not to get a nose or boob job.

Thoughts:

This is probably the dumbest book I’ve read in a very long time. Now that I think about it, I can’t remember reading anything dumber. Ever. It’s kind of disappointing, because I expected much better from this book.

To start, I still (even after finishing it) cannot for the life of me figure out what the point of this book was. Was it to give insight on Heidi and Spencer’s lives? Was it to make them more famous? Was it to show off Heidi’s boobs by printing full color photographs of her on the beach wearing pretty much nothing? Or were they seriously trying to show people how to be famous? I have no idea. I’m not sure what the point of this is, and who on earth would spend $20.00 on it. (unless you’re a creeper and you’re willing to spend the money so you can get the pictures of Heidi practically naked on the beach and the two hated celebrities kissing everywhere they go.)

Second, I don’t get TV, and I don’t read magazines. But I am on the internet 23/7 (hey, I have to sleep at least an hour a day, right? not…) and I’ve never heard of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. So two people I’ve never heard of in my life (or seen on front covers of magazines when I’m shopping at Wal-Mart) have written a book on how to be famous? Seems a little ironic. Maybe. Just a little bit. (cough.)

I will say, however, that it was fun and witty at times. But for the most part, I feel that the hour I spent reading this was a wasted hour that I could have gone back and read the first few chapters of another book that I’ve read a million times (twilight?) and enjoyed it much more. However, I learned a lot about developing characters, story line, plot, and drama in novels. Within the first 20 pages, at least. Maybe that’ll pay off when (if?) I ever decide to write a stupid sappy novel with no point and all drama (Are we sensing the heavy sarcasm here?).

The prose was horrific. If you’re going to write a book, at least write sentences. Even if it’s a book that is supposed to be silly and a joke, it wouldn’t hurt to use good sentence structure.

My favorite part was the end. No I don’t mean the part where I put it down and said “remind me again why I read that?” I meant the last page: “In Case of Emergency:” it was 12 ideas (which all of them, I think, have happened in the past) that will make you famous if all else fails. I’m going to type them up here because they were the only redeeming quality in this book:

“If all else fails to get you noticed, here are some last-ditch strategies:

1. Become beloved star-athlete. Kill wife. Get away with it.
2. If you’re a man, get pregnant.
3. Become the leader of a cult.
4. Get shot in the face by the vice president.
5. Be really unqualified. Get selected as presidential running mate.
6. Get your leg blown off. Marry famous rock star. Divorce him.
7. If you’re a prostitute: Have sex with a governor.
8. Become Olympic skater. Have your rival’s legs broken.
9. Become Olympic skater. Have your legs broken by your rival.
10. Land a plane in the Hudson River saving everyone on board.
11. have six kids. Then have eight more—all at once.
12. Become hated reality TV stars. Write book on fame.”


Again, that was my favorite part. I laughed a lot.

So if you’re in the mood for a silly sappy (read pointless) book that may or may not make you laugh, go ahead and fork out the $20. But really, you’d probably be better off if you just skipped this one.

**Thank you to Anna at Hachette for supplying my review copy.**

Leave a comment and try to explain to me who Heidi and Spencer are. Or at least tell me what you think about the book and the review. You know you get an extra point in that winter contest.

~Haleyknitz