NaNoWriMo: November 1st—November 30

We’ve reached November—National Novel Writing Month! yay! I’m so excited. I’m going to be participating (look me up and become my writing buddy. username is haleyknitz) and I started writing the book already. I thought I’d post a little piece on here, and you can tell me what you think. (or you can tell me how horrible it is.)

A little side note on the character’s names: I was talking to a friend and I asked for three random names, and the three names he gave me were Cam, Blake, and Olivia. those names were PERFECT for my characters!

so ta-da, here you go. the first excerpt (un-edited, mind you) of my new Novel…
***********************************************************

Whispers

1.

Prologue

Present day.

The funeral was wretched. It was the most ugly, horrible, excruciatingly painful day of my existence. I mourned the love of my life.

I drifted in and out of attention during the service, listening one minute and lost in a memory the next. I watched clips of her life in my mind’s eye—meeting her at the beach and finding out she didn’t know how to swim, taking her to prom, laying outside on the grass looking at the stars over summer vacation, the times she’d cried in my arms, our first kiss…

I knew in my heart that it was my fault she was dead.

There were no words in my head through the day. There were only pictures. All I could see were her eyes. Those unique, unmistakable breathtaking purple eyes that always drilled holes through me right down to my soul. They were soft and hard, gentile and fiery. And… they were dead now.

I wasn’t looking forward to the body viewing. I wanted to remember her alive, not as a corpse. But when it was my turn, I had to go up. Everyone knew I was her boyfriend, everyone knew I missed and loved her. I had to do it for them. For her. For them.

I glanced at her body quickly, then closed my eyes. In my head, I could see her gentile smile, the way she blushed when I told her something sweet, the mysteries that clouded her eyes the last few months of her life… the mystery that ultimately killed her. It was a mystery I had yet to solve.

I stepped away from the casket, and as I opened my eyes a tear slipped down my cheek. I didn’t care who saw me cry. She was dead. I was supposed to cry. It’s part of the boyfriend’s job description to cry when the girl dies, right?

***

I sat in the back seat while her mom drove back to the house. She was sniffling and wiping her eyes every few minutes. We drove in silence.

We were on our way back from the burial now. I had not been listening to anything the preacher said. I had laid purple forget-me-not’s on her grave and walked away as quickly as I could.

We got to her house and I helped set up the tables of snacks for people. The mourners followed the police escort and arrived a few minutes later. When it was busy and crowded, I snuck away and went upstairs.

I stood in front of her door. I knew what was behind it—white walls, small bed, night stand, dresser, closet. That was it. she didn’t have posters or paintings on her walls like most teenage girls.

I felt guilty opening the door. She had left everything in that room the way she wanted it before… it was like she was alive behind that door. Opening it and changing it would make the truth become real.

But I opened the door anyway. I had to know if she'd left anything for me.

On her purple bedspread  were two items, and I knew she had put them there for me. The first was her violin case with the instrument and bow inside. I opened the case and stroked the shiny wood with one finger. The other was an envelope. It wasn't just a small one, it was a thick manila envelope. I looked behind me to make sure nobody was there, then I opened the envelope. There was a thick stack of papers and a letter, folded four times with my name on it.

Dear Cam,

I’m so sorry. Please read this, it explains everything. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you all the secrets, but they weren’t mine to tell. I’m sorry I had to hurt you like this, but never forget that I love you.

Don’t let anyone read this except you. Don’t tell anyone it exists. If it falls into the wrong hands, more people will die in the way they shouldn’t.

Because I'm going to die, know that there is someone else out there for you. I know you don't want to think about it, but I need to know that I've told you. I had to die. It just had to happen, Cam. You were meant to live, and you were meant to love someone else.

Cam, I was never meant to exist.

But I will love you forever.

Love, Olivia

Not meant to exist? She was my soul mate. She had to exist. What was I going to do without her? I had no idea what she meant, so I sat down on her bed and put the violin in my lap, set the stack of papers on the bed in front of me, and began to read.

Chapter 1

November of last year

Everyone always says that only crazy people hear voices in their head. I don't think that's true. I think the ones that truly understand everyting are the one sthat hear them.

It started on November 2^nd.

I was sleeping alone in my room, when someone woke me up. It started off like a little trickle, like a baby picking up a handful of sand. The sand begins to trickle out from between the child’s fingers, and then the stream becomes more, and more, and heavier, and heavier…

It felt like thoughts had turned to sand and were physically falling into my brain and falling out of my ears and mouth.

I was in utter silence when I was sleeping. I was lucid, so I was waking up but not totally conscious yet. I began to hear it.

Hey. It said.

I heard my breathing. in, out… in, out… in, out… I tried to remember whatever it was I’d dreamed about—

Hey. Get up. It was louder and there were lots of them saying it.

I heard my breathing speed up a little bit.

I said get up. I know you can hear me…

The sound got stronger, and there seemed to be whispers and laughing in the background. It got louder. It was like walking into an airport. Quiet at first, the sound and the chaos growing and growing—

I said get up!

I woke with a start, breathing heavily. I was so focused on the voices that I hadn’t noticed my breathing increase so drastically. I was also drenched in a cold sweat.

I bounded out of bed as soon as I got my bearings. Maybe I hadn’t been lucid after all.

I stumbled downstairs and collapsed at the kitchen table, letting my head fall into the crook of my elbow, my hair spilling over my face. My mom smiled at me and poured me a cup of tea, putting in the right amount of cream and sugar that she knew I liked. She set it down beside me.

“Time to wake up, beautiful.” She said, patting me on the shoulder. “let me see those pretty eyes of yours.”

I lifted my head wearily and forced my eyes open. I was greeted by my mother's face, several inches from mine, smiling sadly. She kissed my nose and I rolled my eyes and let my head fall again.

She rubbed my shoulder. “you didn’t sleep much, did you.” She asked me, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“Not any more than usual. But I think…” I stopped to haul my head up and take a gulp of scalding hot tea, hoping the caffeine would get to work soon, “the lack of sleep is… catching up. Finally.”

“Well after not having slept for several months, I would imagine you would be a little tired.” She said sympathetically. “do you want to stay home from school?”

“No.” I said, determined. “I can’t do that. Mr. Elton needs me there… I seem to be the only one who knows the harmony and the lyrics to any of our songs for the Christmas concert.”

Mom nodded, her forehead slightly creased. “Ok. Well if you need to come home or something… just call me.”

“No phone at school, remember?” I sighed. “But if you write me a note I might be able to get away with it.”

She nodded again, and went into the kitchen to write a note to whatever teacher decided to search us that day to look for cell phones. My school was not phone-friendly after all the weird things that kept happening last year.

I forced myself to finish the tea, and wasn’t hungry enough to eat anything after that. I went back into my room and brushed the tangles out of my hair, washed my face, and checked my book bag. The last thing I needed to do was loose my homework. I couldn’t afford to get in trouble at school—it was enough that I fell asleep in class occasionally.

While I was outside waiting for Cam, I thought about what had woke me up. Had I actually heard… a voice in my head? No, I thought to myself, I’m not insane, I’m perfectly normal. I pushed the strangeness from my mind and watched for Cam’s car.

He drove up a few minutes later. I stood up off the front porch and walked down towards his dark blue truck. He rolled down the window when I got to the door.

“Hey pretty girl, you want a ride?” he said, his eyes sparkling, and with a huge grin on his face. I sighed and closed my eyes slightly. He laughed and I opened the door and slumped onto the seat. I closed my eyes again. He put the parking brake on and reached around me, buckling me in.

“not in a good mood, hu?” he asked.

“No.” I whined.

“Sleep at all?”

“No.”

“Dream at all?”

I debated telling him about the voices. “No.”

“I did. About you.”

My mouth twitched. That was about all I had energy for.

He drove to school, talking the whole way. I knew he was doing it for the sole reason of keeping me awake, so I tried to listen.

“Hey, Olivia.” He whispered in my ear when we stopped. “Choir is third period, why don’t you just stay until then and go home and take a nap? You seem to be able to sleep during the day… maybe there’s nothing wrong with you after all. Maybe you’re just nocturnal.”

I sighed, willing my eyes to open. They didn’t. I groaned. “I don’t think that’s it Cam.”

He opened his door and came around to my side, opening the door and taking my book bag over his right shoulder, and keeping his slung over his left. He took my hands and helped me out of the car, keeping his hand on my shoulders to keep me steady.

“Hey Olivia, a little tired? Did you guys spend the night in that car?” I heard a voice from behind me. It was Blake.

Blake was the obnoxious senior who should have graduated last year, but was held back. all his teachers wished he had graduated because now they’d have to spend another year with him. He’d been teasing me for the past few months.

“Shut your fat face,” Cam called over his shoulder, “or I’ll pound you.”

“I’d like to see you try.” I heard him mutter back. Cam almost turned around.

“Don’t worry about him, Cam. He’ll get over it eventually.” I muttered.

“what do you mean?”

“if I ignore him he’ll get bored and stop bugging me.”

“No, Olivia. He won’t. he’s too smart for that one. That only works on kids.”

I sighed. All boys have the mental capacity of a kid until they’re about thirty. I wanted to say, but I didn’t want to insult Cam.

Blake was tall with dark-ish skin and dark hair and dark eyes, but I couldn’t see what color they were. I never got close enough to him to find out, and he made me nervous so I didn’t want to. I never really paid close attention to what he looked like because he scared me. Whenever I got too close to him I felt really terrified. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination, or if there was really something dangerous and scary about him. I didn’t want to know.

Blake walked the other direction, and leaned up against his car. He fished through his pocket, and I wondered if he was looking for a cigarette. He looked like someone who would smoke.

Cam rubbed my shoulders the whole way into the huge brick prison that our parents called the school, so that I’d stay awake.

 

*****************************************************